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Literature Text
Child, child, little child,
insulted forever, and forever wild.
Today you'll break, and tomorrow you'll fall,
and my name you'll call and call.
You'll ask for me now, now and again,
sometimes in voice and others with pen.
You're not much better, you never were,
yet you talked with a condescending purr.
Life would bite you with merciless venom,
ripping through your heart of denim.
Spewing hatred to and fro,
you make yourself a pitiful foe.
Child, child, wasted child,
insulting forever and forever wild.
insulted forever, and forever wild.
Today you'll break, and tomorrow you'll fall,
and my name you'll call and call.
You'll ask for me now, now and again,
sometimes in voice and others with pen.
You're not much better, you never were,
yet you talked with a condescending purr.
Life would bite you with merciless venom,
ripping through your heart of denim.
Spewing hatred to and fro,
you make yourself a pitiful foe.
Child, child, wasted child,
insulting forever and forever wild.
This is something I wrote, merely to capture how I feel about people who look down on others when they should learn their place.
© 2012 - 2024 Keko-Meko
Comments16
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This is very interesting subject matter! I agree with some of the other commenters that one doesn't really find poetry about being patronizing (unless they go through an Emily Dickenson collection). I think my favourite couplet is the first one, because the slight staggering of the syllable count puts the reader off kilter just a bit. I think that reflects the subject and sets a tone that works for the piece.
This, however, is not something that is repeated in the following couplets. They give the impression of stretching to achieve rhyme at the sacrifice of rhythm and imagery. Because this is free verse, I don't think that is the best format choice for this piece. More vivid images, even with breaking the (mostly) strict AA BB rhyme scheme and/or couplet format would probably serve it better. This would keep the tone more consistent and communicate emotions more effectively. There is already one slant rhyme in there (venom/denim), so a little more exploration of the "free" in free verse would benefit this piece enormously.
This, however, is not something that is repeated in the following couplets. They give the impression of stretching to achieve rhyme at the sacrifice of rhythm and imagery. Because this is free verse, I don't think that is the best format choice for this piece. More vivid images, even with breaking the (mostly) strict AA BB rhyme scheme and/or couplet format would probably serve it better. This would keep the tone more consistent and communicate emotions more effectively. There is already one slant rhyme in there (venom/denim), so a little more exploration of the "free" in free verse would benefit this piece enormously.