Every Dollar is a Death WishI cut up my wrists like cheap coupons,
This is simply amazing. Obviously, not in the part that this is, in fact, a piece of suicidal fragmentation. Amazing due to the fact that your mind works like a college thesaurus. Your wording is absolutely amazing, your words themselves aren't ordinary, rather, aboriginal.
I can easily relate to this, and that's one of many things that makes this so great. You easily summed up a depression episode in poetry. Your similes and metaphors astound me, beyond words.
I like how you have the narrator's point of view, but that you also acknowledge other, "normal", people and their point of views on the depressed. That's good writing.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH! That means so much to me, that you took the time to really analyze the piece and get past the horrible phrasing and really pay attention to the words. Thank you. <3 Whenever I get a critique I always ask this question (just so I know what people gravitate towards): What was your favorite line or stanza in the piece? Thank you again!